Thursday, July 13, 2017

that impossible step.

A few months back we took a family trip to Newport Beach, California. 

It was the first vacation we had taken as a family of four. The trip was planned as a getaway just for our little family. There was no one else coming along, no one else meeting us there. It was our trip, just to be with each other. 

We went to Disneyland, stayed in an Airbnb right by the ocean, rode bikes down Newport Beach, took the ferry over to Balboa Island, ate delicious food, slept in, and woke up to the sounds of the waves and ocean breeze.

It was the best and happiest I have been in a long long time. 

As I reminisce back on that week, I always start to cry. Not so much out of sadness, because the memories are really the most beautiful ones and I will cherish them for all my life, but more out of longing. Longing to feel that joy again. 

Since having Bronson six months ago, life has been the most intense and overwhelming roller coaster of emotion. My husband made a sudden job change, we lost a sweet (great) grandmother, my parents sold my childhood home and are leaving the small town we grew up in. We've had tragedy and drama within our families--that both took an emotional toll on me personally. Mila turned three and has the attitude and energy to prove it. I've been dealing with a handful of health problems, plus the normal and expected exhaustion that comes with having a small baby and a toddler. I haven't had a lot of family around, and I struggle asking for help, because I know that all my friends have their own hectic busy lives, and are dealing with their own set of problems--many worse than my own. I feel foolish thinking that my problems are worth anyone else's attention. They are so small compared to other trials. 

Sometimes, I stop mid-track as I'm putting laundry away or picking up toys, and just wonder if I can make it one more step. It seems so that one step might be just one step too many. One step that I cannot reach. I pause and seriously doubt my abilities--maybe even shed a tear--but then I hear Mila scream at me for a sippy cup or Bronson waking up from his nap. And I have no choice. So I smile and with all the energy I have left, take that step. The one I thought might be impossible...but never actually is. 

And as I step forward--emotionally wincing--I go to my happy place. On that beach in California, with my babies and my husband. Smiling, watching Mila make sand castles, eating sandwiches, and feeling the sun on my pale legs. Everyone was so happy. That kind of happiness is magical. What is it about the west coast and happiness? Somehow I left behind my stressed-out reality before my toes even touched that sand...left behind the stresses of everyday life. Left behind my feelings of inadequacy as a mother. I left behind my anxiety and fears....

...or maybe the ocean just took them away from me for that brief period of time? Taking on my burden so that I could enjoy that week of heaven on earth. 

I'm not sure how it happened exactly, but I was free. Free of it all, free of the prison of my own making and free to just be me and to love my people. 

We returned home--and quickly jumped back into the norm. Play dates, work, grocery pick-up, library trips, church callings, family gatherings, 3am feedings, business trips, and doctors appointments. We're now in the middle of another big change for our family--another change that came unexpectedly and while exciting, has added some stress and anxiety to our lives. 

But I guess that's what reality is all about. Reality can't be a work-free, stress-free, magical beach vacation all the time. And if that is your reality, please let me in on your ways! 🙌

I think God gives us those moments because they are something for us to hold on to when those dark moments take over. And while I know He wants us to be in the moment, living and breathing in whatever that day brings, there are those times when the next step seems impossible and we need to escape... 

...and that's okay.

Newport, we'll be back.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Happy Four Years!

 Guys, I can't believe this was FOUR years ago today! What a magical and perfect day this was!
It's been a couple years since I've posted photos from our wedding, but as I was going through some of them last night--I just couldn't help but feel so blessed to have so many wonderful family members and sweet friends that helped make this day so special.

And of course--I feel so lucky that this amazing man wanted to marry me! 
I can't believe that handsome face is mine forever. 

I couldn't possibly share every photo, so I've just chosen some highlights...

So grateful for all these BEAUTIFUL people! The fact that they all came to support us on our big day just fills my heart with so much joy. Many of them traveled from very far distances to be with us--we have such amazing people in our lives.

I love you all!

I really loved my reception. 
It was a simple and elegant backyard gathering--just liked I had always dreamed!

(My only regret is not having a videographer there on this day--I ran out of money and decided it wasn't "that big of deal" but I now REALLY regret it!)

 The entrance to our magical backyard reception!
 I love these siblings of mine!
 My family was such a huge help making our wedding happen! I'm so grateful for them.
 Doesn't Robert's sister Heather just look like she was meant to be one of the sisters?! So gorgeous! Love my bridesmaids!

A sweet friend of mine made this cake for us--and Rob and I still talk about how delicious it was to this day. Seriously, one of the best cakes I have ever eaten! And again, it just makes me feel so loved that I have such amazing and talented friends that made this day so special!

 My cousin--who had been in at military training on the west coast--SURPRISED the whole family by showing up! It was so special! He literally graduated from camp that morning, his family picked him up, and then they all drove like 12 hours to my reception!
Just thinking about this special moment brings tears to my eyes!

 Just so many wonderful memories, with good friends and family!
I'll remember this day forever!
Good times on the dance floor!

It was also really fun to have our wedding featured in Utah Valley Bride Magazine! 
I remember I had soooo many people ask about my dress--and I'm not going to lie, it was definitely one of my favorite details of the wedding! It is from J.Crew but as since been discontinued.

Of course the wedding details are fun and all, but the most amazing memories I have are the feelings of love I felt from those around us--both family and friends--and the love I felt for this best friend of mine. He is my rock. He always will be.

It was such a perfect day--and a perfect start to an eternity together.

I love you Robert!
Happy four years sweetheart!


P.S. I used to be much better at blogging, so if you'd to like read about our love story :) you can find it HERE (I'm biased, but it's a dang good story)

Monday, May 16, 2016

family trip to destin, florida // video

The Campbell Family from Nichel Warwick on Vimeo.

I am SO excited to share this amazing video that my sweet and talented sister made of my little family during our recent trip to Destin, FL! This is so special to me and is something I will cherish forever! Life is been so busy lately--and time is flying by much to quickly--these memories of Mila at this adorable age are so very dear to my heart.

We also took lots of amazing pictures! (Sidenote--Destin is heaven on earth! We are obsessed and plan on going back ever year as a family!) Hopefully I'll be able to get some of those pictures up soon! The backdrop of the crystal clear waters, bright blue sky and white sugar sand are simply dreamy--some of my favorite pictures we've ever taken.

Hope y'all are having a wonderful week--and that you're having better weather than we've got here in Houston right now (grey and rainy is the forecast for this whole week--and we're not thrilled about it) I may just keep re-watching this little video and dream of being back in that perfect place!

Friday, April 1, 2016

bluebonnets + easter ❀

If you follow me on Instagram, you've already been spammed with a lot of these bluebonnet photos--and I'm sorry about that, but also not because this really was THE. BEST. DAY. EVER.

 I hope to remember it forever and ever--and pictures are one way to make that happen. It was one of those days, when you're humbled and reminded of what is really important in life--where your priorities should be. 
My husband and I are are both firm believers that experience trumps material things. Don't get me wrong, we like our stuff--and sometimes it's hard to not have things that we want--but then days like these happen...
and none of it seems to matter anymore.
 This is what it's all about.
These people right here are my eternity, and the experiences I make with them are what we're going to remember and are going to shape us as individuals and as a family.
 I love these people with everything I've got--and feel so blessed to be a wife and mama to them.

And if you know me personally--you know that I can't and won't stop talking about my love for Texas--and this time of year is a huge part of that. 
The weather is heavenly, the humidity has yet to hit in full-force, and these bluebonnets start spreading over hill-country--it's like a dream come true.

Pair the bluebonnets with this Texas babe, and it really is perfection! 

 Rob and I hope to be able to stay in Texas forever and raise our kids here.
It's such a perfect place to have a family.
And maybe one day build a little ranch out in hill-country where we can retire, buy some chickens and grow old...
yep, that's the dreammmmm.
Gah, I love it!

When I think of my love for these two, I always think of one of my favorite quotes from Gilead
(one of my all-time favorite reads)
“I’m writing this in part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you’ve done in your life, and everyone does wonder sooner or later, you have been God’s grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle."
And I had to throw in a couple Easter sunday pictures of course!
Sweet Mila was a little cranky all day--mainly because she had been bitten right in between the eyes by a nasty spider. It was all swollen and itchy. Poor thing.

It was a lovely Easter! 
Church followed by dinner and an Easter egg hunt with the family--doesn't get better than that!